As time goes by, other people will board the train; and they will be significant i.e. our siblings, cousins, family (chosen family), friends, children, and even the love of our life.

Many will step down and leave a permanent vacuum. Others will go so unnoticed that we don’t realize they vacated their seats. This train ride will be full of joy, sorrow, fantasy, expectations, hellos, goodbyes, and farewells. Success consists of having a good relationship with all passengers requiring that we give the best of ourselves.

The mystery to everyone is: We do not know at which station we ourselves will step down. So, we must live in the best way, love, forgive, and offer the best of who we are. It is important to do this because when the time comes for us to step down and leave our seat empty we should leave behind beautiful memories
for those who will continue to travel on the train of life.

I wish you a joyful journey on the train of life. Reap success and give lots of love. More importantly, thank God for the journey.

Note: Author unknown. I did not write this analogy, but wanted to share–and thank you for sharing, as a passenger,  this journey in life.–Roberta Murphy

The post To My Fellow Passengers in Life appeared first on Luxury Home Digest.

Many years ago, our two younger sons acquired their very own parakeets at the same time. Eric nurtured his bird, played with it, taught it tricks and called it Puff–who went on to live 14 wonderful years. Mark-the-Younger at the age of 13 basically ignored his little bird in favor of girls, motorized scooters and the like. I would go into Mark’s room to clean the un-named bird’s cage or check on food and water levels– all while the bird squawked and flitted around the cage trying to avoid me. Sweet talk and my chirping did no good. This green parakeet wanted nothing to do with me or any other human. This bird was, at the least, psychotic.

Or so I had diagnosed it.

So what to do with an anti-social and apparently very angry bird? Is there a rescue shelter for parakeets?

I knew of no shelters, so plotted a plan of lesser evil one evening.

The next morning I spent at least 30 minutes chasing this little bird around the cage trying to capture it gently into my fist. At last I succeeded, suffered a few bites, and managed to get this green parakeet into a brown paper bag.

I quickly twisted the top shut, dropped it gently into my oversized handbag and jumped into the car. The bird was silent as I drove to the nearest PetSmart in Encinitas. I parked and walked like a normal shopper into the Big Box pet store. Feeling guilty, I sauntered over by the empty fish aisle, all the while keeping an eye out for cameras and security personnel. Seeing neither, l pulled out the brown paper bag and whispered a little prayer as I untwisted the bag, looking around one more time to see if anyone was looking–and set that little bird free. It immediately flew toward the ceiling as I stuffed the paper bag back into mine. I sauntered over to the dog food, glanced up at the ceiling and saw this little green bird flitting around. Someone would surely see it and assumed one of their parakeets had escaped from a cage..

Or so I imagined.

As soon as possible I exited the store. And breathed a big sigh of relief. This was a trip that resulted in a store ending up with excess inventory as a result of my visit. And is a story we still chuckle over occasionally. And I like to imagine that this little green parakeet found a home more suited to his or her hostile approach to the world.

And so I learned an important and alternative lesson in life: If you hate it, set it free.

The post If You Hate It Set It Free appeared first on Luxury Home Digest.

by Roberta Murphy

This blog is supposed to be about luxury, but lately I’ve been wondering about other things: Like, will health insurance costs become a consideration in qualifying for a mortgage or refinance?

Currently, health care costs are not a real consideration when lenders are considering one’s ability to pay for a mortgage.

Was this another unintended consequence of Obamacare and the Affordable Healthcare Act? We have several clients whose health care costs have gone from $300-$400 per month to well over $1000–and even far more.

Health insurance costs are not a qualifying factor when qualifying a buyer for a mortgage–even when health care coverage may exceed current rent and mortgage levels. Credit card bills, however, can make or break a mortgage deal–even if payments are half or less of one’s rent or current mortgage payment.

Just a consideration, but if a mortgage or refinance is in the works this year, you might consider pulling the trigger and get a mortgage with a rate we might not see again in this lifetime.  And this might especially be true if you have experienced a sharp spike in your health insurance costs. We are advising clients to buy or refinance before mortgage companies realize that these premiums are likely to be fixed costs, just as pressing as any credit card payments.

The post Obamacare and Mortgages appeared first on Luxury Home Digest.

I’ll be the first to admit that I’m a loser when it comes to sunglasses, pens and keys. Call it distraction, absent-mindedness–or as my ex-husband and shrink used to say, “non-thinking beahvior patterns.” These are losses I’ve come to endure–sorta. But I’m the one who pays–in time lost searching and sometimes with money.

But what about our government? I understand “they” operate on a grander scale and that some taxpayer losses might follow–either through ineptness, greed or absolute care-lessness. Think IRS parties, Solyndra and other betrayals of the taxpayer. But a WTF jaw-dropper happened on this end of your screen when I saw this confession that the Federal Reserve had somehow misplaced something like…9 TRILLION dollars.

Am still digesting this–and wondering what I am missing? Dare we venture a guess?

The post The Luxury of Losses appeared first on Luxury Home Digest.

Let me start of by saying I am no Jodi Arias fan and I would be happy to never hear her name again as long as I live. Or see her face.

So here’s my two cent solution for the judge in this case:

Give Jodi the “lesser” punishment. Jodi Arias should be sentenced to life in prison with no chance of parole (perhaps under supervision of Sheriff Arpaio) and with NO visitors for 7 years and no media contact–starting immediately. And should a reporter approach her for a story, he or she might be held in contempt of court.

To give Jodi the death penalty would only guarantee that we will be forced to look at her face and hear her name for years to come as she appeals her way through the system–at taxpayer expense.

And that is just what she wants.

The post A Just Solution for Jodi Arias appeared first on Luxury Home Digest.

by Roberta Murphy

I recently heard New Mexico Governor Susana Martinez explain how she had, after taking office, eliminated one chef, one jet and several other aircraft from the governor’s beck and call. She figured that if the budget had to be trimmed/decimated, the job started at the top.

Susana Martinez is a woman after my own heart.

Like the rest of us, when times get tough we shed the non-necessities and in the process, set a good example for our children and/or constituents–and possibly even our communities.  When times are good and continued prosperity seems certain, many of us load up on luxuries and sometimes-thoughtless purchases. And when the economy contracts, those non-necesities and surerfluous purchases are usually the first to go.

The actions of the leader (in this case the Mom) determine the actions of the pack. Do we really need a second golf membership (NO!), that timeshare (meh!), monthly hair appointments (please no)?  We look for areas that are non-necessity, and start cutting expenditures from that point.

The first cuts should be the ones that hurt the butcher the most.  If I cut monthly hair appointments, then for sure the guys in our household can cut a golf membership, cancel or sell the timeshare and maybe even shed a few excess golf clubs for good measure.

Which leads us now to the White House and me drumming fingers wondering why our President needs 54 Christmas trees to occupy 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue while the First Family and an entire village head to Hawaii for an extended Holiday.

Talk about missed opportunities.  What if, instead, the taxpayer funds spent on this luxurious vacation had instead been donated to Hurrican Sandy victims?  Or excess Christmas trees donated to the needy>

I always thought Romney might have scored big points had he offered to serve the Presidency for a dollar a year pay for his and his family’s own vacations. It might have also helped voters calculate the advantage of having a rich guy in office.

Such sacrifices might be symbolic, but they help lessen the pain and loss being felt by so many voters.

What if, for example, there were just one tree–and what if the First Family stayed home for the holidays like most of their constituents? What if, instead, President Obama ordered his Czars to find budetary blubber and eliminate it?  What if our Leadership understood that the speed of the leader determines the speed of the pack?

What if a country were led by example, instead of by dictate and executive order? What if our Congressional representatives first put themselves and their families on proposed and inferior retirement and health plans before they forced them on their constituents? What if our elected representatives at all levels had the character to take the first cuts and sacrifices?

And what if we, the ones who pay their way, could trust that they put our interests before their own?

The post The Luxury of Voluntary Budget Cuts appeared first on Luxury Home Digest.

While I thought I was learning how to live, I have been learning how to die.

I’ve been haunted, disturbed and perturbed by an article I read a couple of days ago about sick babies being starved and dehydrated to death in Britain–per physicians’s orders and government encouragement.  You can read the article there as I don’t have the stomach to share all the painful details here.

We’ll probably have “death panels” in our own government-mandated healthcare system before too long–and I hope it’s a subject explored carefully and with great thought. For sure, withdrawing food and fluid from a baby or other terminally ill patient will induce a “natural” and cost-saving death, but it’s something most of us would never do to our pets.

In fact, if one were to starve and dehydrate a dog to the point that its tongue was glued to the roof of its mouth (as is happening with with human patients), there would be media outrage against the pet owner along with a possible prison term.

In Britain, it seems human starvation and dehydration are considered “palliative” care for their most helplessly disabled and terminally ill patients.  Palliative care, as I understand, is supposed to focus on relieving pain and suffering–not causing it. Further complicating this issue is that hospitals are reportedly being compensated by the British government for hastening death in society’s most ill patients–and withholding nutrition and fluid seems to assure death within a couple of weeks.

I hate cruelty–in whatever form it takes.

My Dad, a thoughtful thinker and man, believed the late  Jack Kavorkian just might be a saint.  While medicine and medical procedures can be successful in extending life, there is little joy in prolonging pain and suffering. Dr. Kavorkian, of course, assisted in the deaths of 130 terminally ill people between 1990 and 1998–and was ultimately sentenced for second degree murder in Michigan.

Death, in many ways, can be a welcome luxury for any creature struggling with painful and terminal illness–but to have government-mandated suffering is unconscionable and cowardly.  If a government entity is going to sentence a patient to death, why not go ahead do so in a humane and painless manner?

Better yet, why don’t goverments just butt out and let these life and death decisions be made by patients, parents and physicians?

The post Is Peaceful Death a Luxury? appeared first on Luxury Home Digest.

by Roberta Murphy

Years ago, when we put our first home on the market, I insisted that the Realtor put NO SIGN in our yard.

I did not want neighbors to know that we were selling or cause any disruption in our neighborhood. Our agent tried to explain the importance of a sign, but I was the incalcitrant client–and we ended up selling the home with NO SIGN. This of course, was before the internet and Realtor.com, Zillow, Trulia and all the other listing aggregators. And in those days, the wish for privacy was something that was understood by almost all.

At that time, I mostly wanted to protect our privacy–and didn’t want to have to answer questions or be the subject of neighborhood gossip.

Fast forward to 2012 and grocery shoppers have not only to contend with the revelations of rags in the checkout lines, they can also hop onto to the Trulia or Zillow sites and see which of their neighbors have fallen behind on house payments and could be facing foreclosure. Or, equally likely (and rarely assumed by the real estate novice), they may simply be trying to negotiate a loan modification with their lender WHO MAY HAVE ADVISED THEM THEY NEED TO BE DELINQUENT IN THEIR MORTGAGE PAYMENTS before they will be considered for a modification in the terms of their loan. Equally possible, the family may simply have fallen on hard times and are suffering enough embarrassment and pain without Zillow and Trulia posting up their delinquent mortgage status for all to see. Moreover, their home may already be listed as a short sale with their Realtor.

It seems these national aggregator sites who list homes for sale, provide market advice and offer slick mapping services feel this information might bring more eyeballs to their sites. Real estate agents already pay hefty sums to be the advertised “representative” of local zip codes. In further monetizing their sites, will these same agents be enticed to be the “local expert” for pending foreclosures in their purchased zip codes?

It’s not the business model that bothers me; rather, it is the brazen publication and monetization of personal pain. If parents discuss their neighbor’s published and pending foreclosure at the dinner table, is there not a chance that this juicy tidbit becomes an embarrassing morsel of school gossip the next day?

These commercial listing aggregators might try to convince real estate agents that they are offering a real opportunity to agents: They will now know who might be interesting in listing their home, and the more passive agents can $ign on to passively be the face to call when times get tough.

What’s next?

Let’s see, who else might be interested in listing their home when:

1. A loved one dies
2. Divorce proceedings are filed.
3. Someone is arrested (might need to sell to pay attorneys and bail?)
4. Birth announcement (need a home–or a bigger one?)

These are just a few examples of times when privacy might be appreciated and strongly desired. And of course, it is all public knowledge if one searches hard enough–and that is one of the arguments proffered by those who commercialize this information. And from this Realtor’s point of view, it’s pretty convenient information to have–if I’m inclined to pester people in their times of pain–or deep personal pride.

I guess one of the things I liked so long ago when I refused a lawn sign was the sense of control I had over my privacy. These days, a listed home wouldn’t stand a chance of being so obscured from looky loos and prying eyes. The listing would appear not only on hundreds or thousands of Realtor websites, but would also likely appear on Realtor.com, Zillow, Trulia, Movoto, Redfin and innumerable other listing aggregators and national sites.

At a minimum, these sites should allow the homeowner the opportunity to opt out of publication–especially when the information published could cause personal pain and harm.

In exchange for this, as a San Diego Realtor, I would be gladly willing to forego any gain I might achieve from this information–and optimistically believe other real estate professionals would feel the same.

There was a time in our society when privacy was an assumed and granted given. These days, it appears to be a luxury afforded a privileged few.

The post The Luxury of…Privacy appeared first on Luxury Home Digest.

by Roberta Murphy

Travelers from all nations once had the luxury of cruising Egypt’s Nile River, exploring the country’s ancient pyramids and steeping themselves in the mystery and intrigue of Ancient Egypt. But that was before the Great Recession and recent political and civil turmoil.

Egypt had been planning on a tourism rebound in 2012, but it appears those plans have gone up in flames as Royal Caribbean International cancels its Egyptian calls and transfers them instead to European ports. Other cruise ships will likely follow suit as a safety precaution.

Rioters in Egypt (and whoever pulls their strings) are setting up landmines of unintended consequences with their hostilities. Last night, Bill O’Reilly urged millions of his Fox viewers to boycott travel to Egypt–and even travel guru Arthur Frommer has issued a strong warning to American travelers via his travel blog:

Until matters change, and steps are taken by Egyptian officials to discourage such violence, it is clearly unsafe for Americans to visit Egypt as tourists. I feel sad to voice that opinion, because I think of all the fine Egyptian people who are dependent on tourism. Safety comes first, and, currently, Egypt is not safe.

Additionally, even local tour guides in Egypt are warning that there is a lack of security for visitors to Egypt’s historical venues. Police are largely absent and there are no guarantees of safety.

Egypt depends not only on foreign aid, but its population is very dependent on tourism to put food on the table. And with an unemployment rate of around 25 percent for its youth, tourism and its jobs could do much for local economies. Regrettably, all will suffer thanks to political instability and anarchy in the streets.

UPDATE: El Al just announced it is seeking to cancel all flights from Tel Aviv to Cairo–a route it has served for three decades. —Roberta Murphy

UPDATE: 12/29/2012  Apparently Egypt’s own citizens are not allowed to take more than $6000. out of the country–as a response to recent run on banks by terrified Egyptians. Many are buying dollars. “The panic came as the country’s new president, Mohammed Morsi, called for ‘unity’ after a referendum approved a controversial constitution which gave him and Islamist allies more powers.”

It’s a move that could cause tourism-in-reverse as more people seek to escape the Muslim Brotherhood and its faltering economy.

Hat Tip: http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2253525/Egypt-fears-run-banks-imposes-limit-people-withdraw.html#ixzz2GNuKCUlo

The post Tourism in Egypt Implodes appeared first on Luxury Home Digest.

Luxury Home Digest is neutral politically and generally focuses on luxury homes and real estate issues.

But with a journalism background, there are several things I abhor–including mean-spirited personal attacks, hackers, shoddy reporting, and abuse of publishing power.

Not that we expect great things from grocery store rags like US Weekly, National Enquirer and Star Magazines, but I think we expect more from the glossy mags than the cheapie newsrags. 

It turns out that Jann Wenner, who also publishes Rolling Stone Magazine and has a decided political bent, approves of misleading headlines and the yellowest of journalism–as long as it targets those with whom he disagrees.

And US Weekly appears to be his latest yellow convertible.

Sure, Sarah Palin has a pregnant daughter–and had some issue with a former brother-in-law and his dismassal from Alaska law enforcement.–or some such thing.  

But lies and scandals?

After intense questioning, the editor of US Weekly acknowledged today that the “Lies” they had headlined dealt with the lies being spread by Sarah Palin’s political opponents–not prevarications being spread by Palin, McCain or anyone close to her.

Shame on US Weekly.

And shame Wenner and Rolling Stone Magazine–a former favorite.

Better to protray the truth, that twist your own lies and purposes into attention-grabbing headline$.

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