Call this a geeky rant. Call it a blonde tirade. Call it what you want, but I just don’t know what to do about diverse databases.

I think I have them coming out the Wazoo.

If you came here seeking luxury news, you may want to click away and come back tomorrow. Right now, I am trying to sort out a database problem that honestly keeps me awake at night.

You see, I have been collecting names, addresses, email addresses and property preferences from people for centuries. And if there were a way my databases of information could talk to each other, I could be the supreme Yentl of real estate in Southern California–or the whole world.

My problem? SOAR Solutions, which for years reliably sent property information to hundreds of clients, was sold to HouseValues, who ostensibly does the same thing but charges a king’s ransom to do so. At the same time, clients who signed into SearchPoint with my ancient Realigent site, are listed there and are also receiving property updates from me.

Then there was Top Producer, which held all the contact information for existing clients–along with their birthdays and wine preferences. And now I have an account with 1ParkPlace, which also sends out listing information to clients and maintains another database.

The real problem?

None of these databases talk to one another–and I think it’s a deliberate conspiracy, HouseValues will release only the client’s name, address, telephone and email address. Forget about search parameters. They hold that information hostage and continue to charge me out the yingyang for the privilege of doing so. I would like to migrate this information to 1ParkPlace, but no can do.

Guess those tasks will have to be done one by one, keystroke by keystroke.

Then there’s the database sitting over at Realigent that is fully 8 years old. Many of these searchers have been with me since the last century. Those, too, will have to be migrated one by one, keystroke by keystroke.

The problem could probably be solved if I were an enterprise level business doing gazillions of transactions per day. If that were the case, I would just call the database gurus at ANTs Software and they could use their cool plugin and make databases like Oracle, IBM, Sybase and Microsoft relate, talk and migrate to one or the other. The Ants Compatibility Server (ACS), fortunately and unfortunately, is whiz bang technology for the big guys and ANTs will probably rule the world of databases some day, but are of little help to me now.

In the meantime, I think someone could make a modest royal ransom if they could solve the Realtor’s dilemma with databases and set us free from those vendors who hold us hostage. If software could be written that would encompass not only basic information, but also our real estate client’s search parameters and wine preferences, the world’s real estate crisis might be solved.

And just for grins, remember this classic Super Bowl 2000 Commercial?

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